Chris Paul: Trade Him To Orlando Now!
The New Orleans Hornets need to trade Chris Paul to the Orlando Magic and they need to do it yesterday.
It doesn’t matter that the Dallas Mavericks have the most to offer the Hornets, or the Portland Trail Blazers, New Jersey Nets, and Charlotte Bobcats are interested in the three-time all-star too.
The NBA needs Paul in Orlando. Think about it. What a great rivalry that would create between the Miami Heat with their big three—Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh—and the Orlando Magic with their big three—Paul, Dwight Howard, and Stan Van Gundy.
The Sunshine State would have five of the best 10 basketball players in the world and quite possibly all five members of the All-NBA First Team. Not only that but then the Magic’s two best players would have four first names (Chris, Paul, Dwight, and Howard).
What if the Hornets don’t like what the Magic have to offer?
No biggie. David Stern will intervene and sweeten the pot. Perhaps he can compensate the Hornets with a draft pick or seven. While he’s at it, he’ll throw in some pristine beach-front property for the state of Louisiana (surely Florida has some to spare).
If he needs to Stern can always sweeten the gumbo with a defensive back and/or a wide receiver for the Saints (Big Easy residents care more about that team anyway).
Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter how the Hornets are compensated for surrendering Paul to the Magic Kingdom. The franchise isn’t going to win anything anyways with or without him.
You see, Paul has to go to Orlando not for the sake of basketball fans but for the sake of ESPN and TNT. Just think of the television ratings when every week the Heat battle the Magic on basic cable (yes, weekly! The NBA would change its scheduling so the Heat and Magic could clash every six to eight days). Just think of the poor ad executives with families and mistresses to feed.
It doesn’t matter that Miami (apart from college football and when the Dolphins are winning) is one of the worst sports towns in America or that Orlando is one of the worst towns in America. The hype machine can take this match-up—which has about as much tradition as a summer league game—and turn it into a rivalry as rich and as hallowed as Clippers-Bucks. Wow, I just gave myself chills.
It doesn’t matter that Paul agreed to a four-year, $68 million extension before the start of last season. Contracts are just words on paper. It’s not like it’s an actual commitment. It’s not like Paul bumped fists with the Hornets organization.
It doesn’t matter that the majority of this ordeal is predicated on feeling left out. All of Paul’s friends are getting the sycophantic free agency treatment and he wants some of that attention too. Hey, when you have a nickname as awesome as “CP3″ you should feel entitled to such pampering.
It doesn’t matter that Paul has no real gripe against the Hornets. Yes, the franchise cast-away his friends (coach Byron Scott and center Tyson Chandler) but Paul is just a player and ultimately has no say whatsoever (nor should he) in personal decisions.
Yes, the team went 37-45 last season and as their best player he’s majorly responsible for that futility, but we should just ignore all that. After all, shoe commercials tell us Paul is a great player, and as we all know show commercials never lie.
Listen here naysayers, we’re talking about Chris “f-ing” Paul and Dwight “f-ing” Howard playing together on the same team. Just think of how all those Paul to Howard alley-oop dunks will benefit SportsCenter.
It also doesn’t matter that Paul is drenched in self-importance and narcissism. He talks like he’s the only member of the New Orleans organization that wants to win a championship. Did Monty Williams take the heading coach job just to boost the profile of his basketball camp? Did new general manager Dell Demps come aboard just so he could meet Jay-Z when the team travels to New Jersey?
You see basketball folks, Paul wants to win a NBA Title and in his world he’s one of four or five players who share that goal. He doesn’t care where he wins one as long as he wins one. It could be in New Orleans (although he doesn’t think so). It could be in New York or Portland or New Jersey or Timbuktu or Kalamazoo (by the way those last two cities were in the running for the franchise that’s currently in Oklahoma City).
It doesn’t matter where HE wins a championship as long as HE wins a championship because Paul is all about winning… and by winning we mean being on a team where winning is easy not the actual drive to compete and make the players around you better (that’s so 1990’s).
That’s why he needs to go to Orlando. Playing with Howard gives HIM a great (and easier) chance to win the championship HE so desperately wants. Besides, I’ve spoken with a colorist and Paul would look great in light royal.
It also doesn’t matter that his desires seem to perpetuate the dangerous trend of superstar consolidation. While Paul has expressed great interest in playing in O-town, his ultimate dream is to play in the Big Apple with Amare Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony.
Fortunately for the trillions of hoop fans that don’t want to see the Association’s best 15 ballers play on just five teams, that “Big Three” is unlikely to happen. However, the “Big Two and of half” of Howard, Paul and Brandon Bass is doable, especially if the commissioner drops everything and makes Paul to Magic a reality.
After all, just think of how cool it would be to have Wade, James, & Bosh in Miami and Howard & Paul in Orlando—to have all five superstars in one state, in one division, just four hours apart. That would be very cool and isn’t being cool what the NBA is all about?
By the way, if Paul is traded to my favorite team than I take back everything I said in this article.